TPM is chock-full of Newt Gingrinch stories this morning, and they're all hilarious. Gingrich's attempts to salvage his rapidly-sinking campaign are just opening the floodgates of unintentional comedy.
First we have the continuing fallout from Newt making the classical political gaffe (accidentally saying what you really mean) over the Ryan plan to eliminate Medicare:
"I think that many have said now he's finished," Cantor said. "I haven't had a chance to really dissect what in the world he's thinking ... so I probably would reserve judgment on that."
Yeah, reserving judgment... and the right to make judgmental statements. Classy!
Old rival Dick Armey was perfectly happy to join in the fun:
Dick Armey, who had a legendarily tempestuous relationship with Gingrich when they were in the House leadership together and is now a Tea Party organizer, told Politico that Newt was "confused and conflicted" on policy.
"We always say: Newt always has so many great ideas," Armey said. "Well yeah, but then he shifts between them at such a rate it's pretty hard to track it let alone keep up with it."
Next up we have the news, relayed from Politico, that Newt ran up a little bit of a tab at Tiffanys:
It's been a rough few days for the newly-minted presidential campaign of Newt Gingrich, and a new report about his personal spending surely won't improve things. As Politico reports, six years ago Gingrich owed a six-figure debt to Tiffany & Co jewelers:
Gingrich, who represented Georgia in Congress for two decades, retired in 1999. But his wife, Callista Gingrich, was employed by the House Agriculture Committee until 2007, according to public records. She listed a "revolving charge account" at Tiffany and Company in the liability section of her personal financial disclosure form for two consecutive years and indicated that it was her spouse's debt. The liability was reported in the range of $250,001 to $500,000.
Apparently, that debt level was shown on the last public filing she made. No word on how it's evolved since the start of 2007. It is, of course, tricky to talk convincingly about the government having to tighten its own belt like ordinary Americans, if you're using personal debt to fuel a life high on the hog, but that never stopped a Republican from trying.
On the heels of that, continued walkback of the Meet the Press appearance, in the form of Going Palin:
In a conference call Tuesday with conservative bloggers, Gingrich said that he was unprepared for a series of "gotcha" questions on individual mandates and the Ryan budget, both of which had been major stories for days before the interview.
It was Gingrich's 35th appearance on Meet the Press, TPM has confirmed. If he was unprepared for that, he'll never be prepared, for anything (except maybe his next divorce).
"I didn't go in there quite hostile enough, because it didn't occur to me going in that you'd have a series of setups," Gingrich said, according to the Washington Examiner. "This wasn't me randomly saying things. These were very deliberate efforts to pick fights."
Yeah, he should've been more of a jerk. Actually, he might have a point, the Republican primary electorate seems to like jerks.
Building up to the grand finale, TPM gets in a couple of stabs:
I was traveling and in meetings most of the day. So unlike most every other day, I was almost totally off the news grid. I caught a few headlines here and there on my iPhone about the unfolding Newt implosion. But, my God, I couldn't quite grasp the scope until I got back to my hotel room and started reading our stories. And now it comes out that this afternoon Newt was compelled to personally call Rep. Paul Ryan (R-WI) to apologize for questioning and criticizing Ryan's Medicare phase-out plan. His spokesman publicly stated that Newt apologized. Publicly. On the record. Voluntarily.
What's breathtaking about this isn't just the reckless ridiculousness. That's Newt's trademark. But I can only imagine Newt's mortification. This is a man of no little ego. Whatever else you want to say about Gingrich, he is a genuinely historic figure in the history of American politics. And he's called on the carpet and has to apologize to these newcomers who couldn't have been out of their 20s when he was in his early 90s heyday?
Yeah, my heart bleeds. Oh wait, no, I'm just loving the Schadenfreude.
TPM also compares Newt's performance to Joaquin Phoenix while making I'm Still Here, and wonders whether we'll soon see him in Cannes, lucid, laughing about what a big joke it all was.
But finally, the one that'll have 'em rolling in the aisles:
"Any ad which quotes what I said on Sunday is a falsehood, because I have said publicly those words were inaccurate and unfortunate," he told FOX's Greta Van Susteren.
Genius! Verbatim quotes of Newt Gingrich are falsehoods, everyone!
Stick a fork in him, he's done.
Updated by sullivanst at Wed May 18, 2011 at 04:52 PM EDT
And there's more. Apparently, correctly remembering what Newt said 18 years ago is a sign of "amenesia". I'm not quite sure Gingrich understands the meaning of that word.